I’m very tempted to start my travel posts with Captains log, star date …
If you have no clue what I’m talking about then get off my blog! You’re making me feel old!
Kidding! Just kidding.
Well, look at this? Yet another travel blog where the author blabs on about where they went, what they saw and how lovely it was.
*The heavens open and a celestial choir descends*
Yeah. I’m not going to do that.
I’m going to show you a journey through the eyes of an autistic author.
You should be.
So, sit back, strap in, and enjoy the ride!
Arranging this trip around America was five years in the making. Five years is a very long time you know, starting somewhere in 2013 and finally getting our camper packed and ready to go in 2021. A veeeerrryyy long five years.
But we did it! Our time to go was upon us and we were bursting with excitement! Me, running around like an autizmo with too many Dr. Pepper zeros inside her (if you need a visual, picture the film Flubber) while hubs sat in his comfy chair working online.
What exactly do you pack for an extended trip? Especially a trip that involves no actual return date.
That’s right, absolutely everything. Even the stuff that you never use, that’s been sitting around your house gathering dust, because, you know, you might just need it one day.
Our camper became the Tardis. Either that or my 80’s childhood just did me a solid and my Tetris skill came to the rescue… again…
We were now officially a traveling pharmacy, ready for any ailment!
Stomachache? No problem.
Flu? We’ve got you covered.
Appendicitis? Step into my operating room.
Onto my wardrobe! Which isn’t very big for women’s standards. But what to pack?
I dragged out my suitcase and rifled through boxes of clothes.
Shorts and t-shirts? Check.
Jeans and hoodies? Check.
Cocktail dresses? Check
Ski equipment and scuba gear? Check.
As I continued to stuff things into every cupboard, every crevice, the camper sagged lower and lower on the axles. It’s fine, I thought. We need to bring the entire contents of our house!
Just as I was packing the dogs’ toys, 50 lbs. bag of dog food, their beds, ignoring the sheer terror on their faces as their prized possessions were being carted out of the house, hubs brought out his bag of clothes. And by bag of clothes, I mean a rucksack that still had enough room to hide a baby in.
“That’s it?” I squawked in complete disbelief. A pair of socks and boxers, an extra pair of jeans and t-shirt just isn’t going to cut it.
But that’s men for you, I guess. Never looking at all the possible mishaps or goodhaps we may encounter.
But at last! Our camper was packed and attached to the truck. Only one more sleep and we were on our way.
And by sleep, I mean lying in bed with my eyes wide open like I’ve consumed an entire pot of instant coffee, a goofy grin pinning my lips back, and a herd of wild mice rampaging in my chest. I was a tiny bit excited to get going.
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